For my final text study I chose to watch the movie “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” The film is about a young man named Gilbert who has to constantly look after his mentally impaired brother Arnie. His morbidly obese and widowed mother, Bonnie, lives on the couch in their living room, so Gilbert and his two sisters have to act as Arnie’s parents. An unfamiliar traveler named Becky stops in their small town and helps Gilbert learn how to accept the life he was born into. If you haven’t watched this movie, you really should!
How does the text illustrate or challenge your values and beliefs?
Becky questions Gilbert about what he wants in life. “I want a new house, a new family. I want mama to take aerobics classes. I want a new brain for Arnie.” Becky then asks, “What do you want for you?” “I want to be a good person” he replies. I speculated this for a while and came to the conclusion that the only way Gilbert will feel like a good person is by appreciating the flaws in his own life. The love he displays by caring for his mom and brother proves that he’s a good person, but the self-respect he’s missing causes him to mistrust his own character. I believe that if Gilbert looked at Arnie and his mother as positive influences on his life, he would find prosperity within himself.
Becky is a spectacular human being. She treats Arnie like another friend. She helps him dismiss his fear of water and doesn’t let Gilbert apologize for him. When she becomes acquainted with their mother for the first time Bonnie says, “I haven’t always been like this” Becky replies, “Well I haven’t always been like this.” Becky’s empathy causes Bonnie to smile for the first and only time throughout the entire movie. It’s clear to me that Becky respects herself because she can relate to the people around her no matter how different they are. She never treats Arnie and Bonnie with pity. Becky treats them the way she would want to be treated herself.
What hard questions does the text raise about your values and beliefs?
Arnie yells “dad’s dead, dad’s dead!” repeatedly at the dinner table one night after hearing Gilbert say it. Arnie notices the family’s negative reactions and seems to enjoy the attention. If they were patient with Arnie and didn’t waste their energy trying to get him to be quiet, Arnie probably would not have continued yelling “dad’s dead!” Another significant part of the movie was when Gilbert hits Arnie for eating the cake he bought for Arnie’s birthday. Gilbert’s emotions took over his actions and when he stops to reflect on what he did, his overwhelming guilt brings him sorrow.
This challenged my values and beliefs because after thinking about this I felt almost hypocritical. Sometimes I get so impatient with Addie I have trouble controlling my actions. My actions always come back and haunt me, but even after all these years I still make the same mistake. I know nobody’s perfect, but I wonder why people make the mistake of hurting others if they just end up hurting themselves. I notice that when I feel at peace with myself I am more understanding and patient with people who tend to irritate me, but when I am in a negative mood my patience becomes weak.
How were you reinforced in your values and beliefs, or how did your understanding of them change as a result of studying this text? What was the biggest takeaway that will influence your final credo?
Growing up, my parents would tell me that you have to love yourself to be able to love others. I have always believed this, but now I have a deeper understanding of this lesson. “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” got me thinking about how this belief relates to me and my own behavior. The relationship we have with ourselves has everything to do with our actions. So the next time I feel impatient I will ask myself why before taking it out on others.
What are your core values? What do you believe?
I believe that if we practiced loving ourselves we will learn to love everyone for who they are, no matter what size, color or way of learning. I believe we can learn to love even the people we don’t know.
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