Saturday, November 28, 2009

Practicum #1

For my practicum I challenged myself to love the things about people or situations that would otherwise irritate or upset me.

What experiences have you had as a result of practicing this belief or value that you would not otherwise have had?
I experienced a feeling of purpose. When people like my dad, dance teacher or even my dog did something that would irritate me, I would remind myself that they wouldn't be the same people if they didn't do those little things that bother me. And if my dad, dance teacher or dog were any different, then I wouldn't be the same person I am today.

Journal entry 4
November 24th

Tonight my dance teacher, Steve Casteel, kicked me out of ballet class for walking in with a sweater on. He did warn the class in advance, but he was never too clear about when we should take our warm-ups off. I was embarrassed and upset so I left the studio in tears. Negative thoughts were cluttering my brain. I took a step back and tried to look at the situation from his point of view. I began to think, maybe he's trying to help. Ballet is all about discipline, and in a company they won't be patient with you. Later, I went back to the studio to apologize to him. I said "I'm sorry, that won't happen again." He then told me "kicking you out of class hurt me more than it hurt you." He explained that all he was trying to do is help prepare me for the life ahead of me. He said it will be rough and that I will have to work with many teachers and choreographers that won't take any excuses. Steve then began to compliment me, saying I was a beautiful dancer and that he noticed me working hard every day I take his class. I felt so much better than I would have if it weren’t for this practicum. I don’t think I would’ve confronted him after the class and talked about the reason to why he kicked me out, and I wouldn’t have heard the nice things he told me. I appreciate Mr. Casteel for teaching me not only ballet, but the discipline behind the technique.

What new insights do you have about the belief or value you’ve practiced?
My dad picks me up late from dance sometimes, but he’s nice enough to give me a ride home almost every night. Sometimes my sister gets in these angry fits, but she’s comfortable showing her emotions around me. This practicum taught me that I can almost always find something positive in the things that trouble me. “I believe we should all find happiness” is a quote from my original credo; this is exactly a goal I’m trying to accomplish by finding the positive side of things.
Is the level at which you’re practicing sustainable in your life? Why or why not?
This practicum turned out to be a lot harder than I thought, but if I continue I believe it will become more natural to me. I felt really good about myself this whole week. I sometimes caught myself forgetting to resolve my frustrations, but with more practice it will become second nature to me.

What was your biggest take away that will influence your final credo?
I learned that when you really let yourself get annoyed, you can forget how lucky you are to have these wonderful people in your life. I will find true happiness loving people for who they are and everything about them; including their imperfections.

What are your core values? What do you believe?
I believe finding happiness is learning how to love people for their whole selves, and not the part of them that doesn’t annoy you. I believe if you focus on the positive side of things your relationships with people will improve. My core values that relate to this practicum are love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Interview #1

I interviewed my mom, Becky. She’s a nurse at the highline school district and one of my best friends.
What are the interviewee’s core values? What does she believe?
Becky’s core values are respect, not harming others, helping people and doing your best. One of the reasons she became a nurse was to feel compassion for the next generation. Becky’s beliefs have changed after having a disabled daughter. “I use to look at families with a disabled child and think it was a tragedy and then I had Addie. She is such a gift”. When I interviewed her I noticed a lot of what she talked about was people who are considered “different” in our culture. She even talked about herself feeling that she was different. She struggled with reading and comprehension in high school, and couldn’t get through her first year of college. “People thought I didn’t try, but you know you just try so hard and you don’t get it. You just have to give up after awhile” she told me. Although she had a difficult time academically she really pushed herself, and she believes that is one of the most important things a person should do.

What is a story and/or metaphor that the interviewee used to illustrate her values and beliefs?
I asked her how she felt when she helped the kids she takes care of. “A lot of what I do isn’t helping kids put on band aids. I help kids and their families find health care. It’s rewarding but sometimes frustrating because a lot of families are just in survival mode. A lot of them are poor and are just trying to feed their families and them selves. Taking their kids to the doctor is not a priority for them.”
This was her example:
Last year a little boy she took care of, only six, weighs 150 lbs. It was his first year in kindergarten and his mother was on kidney dialysis three days a week. She also has brain damage “probably drug abuse” she told me. So Becky was working with the kids grandmother who was in drug rehab. They all live with her, including his Grandfather who just got out of prison. This six year old boy has tooth decay, vision impairment, and is morbidly obese. “I’ve been trying to help his grandmother get him to see a doctor. She’s taken her daughter to kidney dialysis who seems to have mental health issues herself. This little boy is not getting the care he needs. His grandmother lied about taking him to doctor and dentist multiple times. I’ve had to call doctors and dentists to find out if he’s gone; I found out that all six dental appointments were canceled”. He saw a few doctors but he needed to see more. He had three siblings that were taken away from his mother because of neglect or abuse, and he didn’t want to be taken away from his family like his brothers and sisters were. Different family members would come with him to class, that’s the only way he would come to school. He’s in kindergarten again this year because he missed so much school, but he’s doing really well according to my mom. “He gets along with the other kids, and doesn’t need his family there anymore”.
This story showed me how much my mom wants to help. Her core values are respect, not harming others, helping people and do your best. I hear all four of these values in her story.

What are the “hard questions” about the interviewee’s values and beliefs? How would she respond to those questions?
Why do we label people as “normal” and “different”? I have also struggled with academics, and for some reason it’s really hard for me to tell people. It’s because the word "different" is so scary in our culture; no one wants to have that label. Becky says “In public school they try to fit everyone into one particular mold and not all of us fit that mold. I sit in these MDT and SAT meetings. We talk about the kids and how they scored on these tests and if they qualify for special education services. It really disturbs me”. She talked about feeling like she could have benefited from special ed, but would have never gone because of this fear people have of being different. People who are different are usually teased or made fun of. The people who tease them are scared of not being considered normal, and by making fun of these people who are different they feel safe.

How has your perspective on your own beliefs and values changed as a result of the interview? What was your biggest takeaway that will influence your final credo?
If you considered every human being as normal, how would you feel about yourself as a person? I’ve been thinking about this ever since the interview with my mom. I’ve decided either there’s no such thing as normal, or every human is normal. My sister Addie, she obviously has a disability, but she’s normal. She’s human; she can feel like the rest of use. People that struggle with reading or math, may be a master when it comes to painting or singing. So, no matter who you are, overweight, disabled or homeless, your normal. If we all begin to think that way, I believe we will become more comfortable with our differences, and learn how to accept others. We would stop feeling pressur to fit into that one mold my mom was talking about, and become more content.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Growing as a Dancer and Becoming a Choreographer

What personal passion does this project advance? What is your experience with that passion?

I have been passionate about dance for more than eleven years. I have taken thousands of modern and ballet classes since I was six years old, and dance fifteen to twenty hours a week. In the past four summers I have studied at Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet, Pittsburgh Ballet Theater, San Francisco Conservatory of Dance, and Oregon Ballet Theater to improve my dance technique and performance. For my senior project instead of being used in choreography, I want to find the choreographer in myself. I plan to choreograph a contemporary solo for myself, and work on making a piece with two other dancers, Hannah and Raven, at my dance studio. We will be meeting on Sundays at Dance Fremont and work on this piece until a Saturday in March when we perform it. The performance will be open to the public, and shown at Dance Fremont.

How does this project challenge you? What risks will you take completing this project? What will be your biggest obstacle and how will you overcome it?

Choreographing is a struggle for me because it is new to me. Dancing with two other people is even more of a challenge because all three of us have to feel comfortable dancing together as well as making it pleasing for the audience. We want to have weight-sharing, floor work, synchronized work as well as cannons, solos, level changes, and speed contrast. It would be effortless for us to have a trio where all three of us just danced separately the way we felt like dancing, but to make it pleasing for the audience we must connect with each other in all of these way.
We will overcome this by experimenting with partnering, practicing and revising as the work until it feels natural. Each of us will create choreography of our own and merge it into a single combination. We will use this combination is in three different ways - cannons, level changes and synchronized work. We will also videotape each of us doing improvisational dancing, and taking the movement we like from the tape and including it into the final piece.

What resources do you already have that will be useful in completing the project? What resources will you need? How will you get them?

The resources we already have are the practice/performance space and possibly costumes all supplied by Dance Fremont. We have the studio on Sundays starting at twelve until whenever we feel like our work is done. I have the key to the studio so that I can lock the front door when we leave. So far we have the music we are going to use. We will need the support of Mary and Vivian (co-directors of Dance Fremont) to help us put on the show. We will need someone to collect money that will be donated to charity, and someone to control of the music.

What will your finial result be? How will you measure and evaluate your results?

We will perform the piece at Dance Fremont in march 2010. I will evaluate the result of this on how confident I am with the piece, and how comfortably the three of us work together. My goal is to be able to choreograph in the future, and have it not be such a struggle for me.

How will you document your progress in completing the project?

We will be videotaping rehearsals, and the final performance. The rehearsals will show the work and struggle we put into the project, and the performance will be the result.

How will you present the completed Project to the community?

At the student showcase, I will show the video of the final performance and possibly the rehearsals. I will also perform my solo, and bring in the point shoes I have worn throughout my life to symbolize my dedication to dance.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Senior Project Proposal

What personal passion does this project advance? What is your experience with that passion?
I have been passionate about dance for more than eleven years. I have taken thousands of modern and ballet classes since I was six years old, and dance fifteen to twenty hours a week. In the past four summers I have studied at Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet, Pittsburgh Ballet Theater, San Francisco Conservatory of Dance, and Oregon Ballet Theater to improve my dance technique and performance. For my senior project instead of being used in choreography, I want to find the choreographer in myself. I plan to choreograph a contemporary solo for myself, and work on making a piece with two other dancers, Hannah and Raven, at my dance studio. We will be meeting on Sundays at Dance Fremont and work on this piece until Saturday (working on the date) when we perform it. The performance will be open to the public, and shown at Dance Fremont.

How does this project challenge you? What risks will you take completing this project? What will be your biggest obstacle and how will you overcome it?
Choreographing is a struggle for me because it is new to me. Dancing with two other people is even more of a challenge because all three of us have to feel comfortable dancing together as well as making it pleasing for the audience. We want to have weight-sharing, floor work, synchronized work as well as cannons, solos, level changes, and speed contrast. It would be effortless for us to have a trio where all three of us just danced separately the way we felt like dancing, but to make it pleasing for the audience we must connect with each other in all of these way.
We will overcome this by experimenting with partnering, practicing and revising as the work until it feels natural. Each of us will create choreography of our own and merge it into a single combination. We will use this combination is in three different ways - cannons, level changes and synchronized work. We will also videotape each of us doing improvisational dancing, and taking the movement we like from the tape and including it into the final piece.

What resources do you already have that will be useful in completing the project? What resources will you need? How will you get them?
The resources we already have are the practice/performance space and possibly costumes all supplied by Dance Fremont. We have the studio on Sundays starting at twelve until whenever we feel like our work is done. I have the key to the studio so that I can lock the front door when we leave. So far we have the music we are going to use. We will need the support of Mary and Vivian (co-directors of Dance Fremont) to help us put on the show. We will need someone to collect money that will be donated to charity, and someone to control of the music.

What will your finial result be? How will you measure and evaluate your results?
We will perform the piece at Dance Fremont on Saturday, (date). I will evaluate the result of this on how confident I am with the piece, and how comfortably the three of us work together. My goal is to be able to choreograph in the future, and have it not be such a struggle for me.

How will you document your progress in completing the project?
We will be videotaping rehearsals, and the final performance. The rehearsals will show the work and struggle we put into the project, and the performance will be the result.

How will you present the completed Project to the community?
At the student showcase, I will show the video of the final performance and possibly the rehearsals. I will also perform my solo, and bring in the point shoes I have worn throughout my life to symbolize my dedication to dance.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Text Studie Number One


This picture shows me how lucky I am. If Addie didn’t survive the stroke she had at age three, I may not have had the opportunity to learn the true meaning of patience. Although she’s a big piece of happiness in my life, I struggle sometimes to get along with her. She’s very possessive of her things and doesn’t always cooperate when you’re trying to help her. She’s teaching me one of the values most helpful in life, persistence.

When I am frustrated with Addie, I try to tell myself that she can’t help it. That’s just the way she is, but since she’s my sister it’s hard to think that way. Now I ask myself how I can be patient when she’s not listening to me, or not sharing. I need to find the love I have for her instead of the frustration. I will replace the feeling of irritation with compassion, and maybe my patience will affect the way Addie acts toward me.

I need to change the way I think when I feel aggravated, because acting with aggravation will just make the situation worse. This may change my life in the way I think when I’m impatient with another person or situation. If I keep practicing love instead of anger, the way I feel about myself as a person will change. Instead of being unhappy with the way I treat Addie when she bugs me, I can feel thankful that I even have a sister like her.

Monday, September 21, 2009

What im doing for my senior project

For my senior Project I’m choreographing a contemporary piece with two friends, Hannah and Raven. We’re going to work together by coming up with choreography on our own, and bring our ideas to the studio. We’re also each choreographing our own solos, and putting on a performance of all four pieces at the studio. I'm thinking about performing the solo i choreograph at the showcase, and showing a video of the performance at Dance Fremont.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Credo

The most important values in my life are the things hardest to succeed without. And by succeeding I don’t necessarily mean having a high paying job, I mean succeeding at the things that make you feel jubilant and most alive. Love, self discipline, and finding joy in what I do is my recipe to reaching my goals. By finding these values I’ve learned how to believe in myself. For more than eleven years my life has revolved around one thing, dance. Without the love of my family, without self discipline, and without enjoying what I do, I would never be where I am today.

If there were two pieces of advice I could tell my children I would tell them to find their passions and follow them. I believe there is one goal everyone should have in life, I believe we should all find happiness. Happiness is the key to success. Without happiness there wouldn’t be love in this world and without love there wouldn’t be life. I would rather die than never learn how to love. Love is one of the most natural feelings a human has, but sometimes is lost under the self critic in our heads. Once you can love yourself, you’re able to love others.

If I had a million dollars to give away it would go to PSCS. I’ve really grown to know my values and have been able to practice them because of this school. I enjoy learning when I’m not forced to, and I would rather have the reward of real education than an artificial grade. Self discipline and responsibility are some of the hardest lesson to learn in life. A big part of my PSCS education has been learning responsibility. Getting my homework done and doing it with integrity, making goals and reaching them took me years to learn. I was not practicing self discipline or integrity in public school, and coming to PSCS opened my eyes to what life will be like after high school. You need responsibility to live on your own, you need self discipline to have a career. The best thing will be enjoying my job while I work through life. Because of PSCS I am ready for what’s ahead of me, and can’t wait to enter the world of adulthood .

The last time I was really excited about life was when I was asked by the director of Oregon Ballet Theater’s company to join their school as a pre professional. I felt proud of all those years of hard work. All those years I struggled in public school, but danced till my muscles became fatigued. I’ve practiced self discipline every ballet class I have sweated through. I’ve reached my goal of happiness by enjoying it. Without the love of my family I would have never been to my first dance class and for that I am very grateful. I believe in happiness, once you’re happy you have found success.