Saturday, November 28, 2009

Practicum #1

For my practicum I challenged myself to love the things about people or situations that would otherwise irritate or upset me.

What experiences have you had as a result of practicing this belief or value that you would not otherwise have had?
I experienced a feeling of purpose. When people like my dad, dance teacher or even my dog did something that would irritate me, I would remind myself that they wouldn't be the same people if they didn't do those little things that bother me. And if my dad, dance teacher or dog were any different, then I wouldn't be the same person I am today.

Journal entry 4
November 24th

Tonight my dance teacher, Steve Casteel, kicked me out of ballet class for walking in with a sweater on. He did warn the class in advance, but he was never too clear about when we should take our warm-ups off. I was embarrassed and upset so I left the studio in tears. Negative thoughts were cluttering my brain. I took a step back and tried to look at the situation from his point of view. I began to think, maybe he's trying to help. Ballet is all about discipline, and in a company they won't be patient with you. Later, I went back to the studio to apologize to him. I said "I'm sorry, that won't happen again." He then told me "kicking you out of class hurt me more than it hurt you." He explained that all he was trying to do is help prepare me for the life ahead of me. He said it will be rough and that I will have to work with many teachers and choreographers that won't take any excuses. Steve then began to compliment me, saying I was a beautiful dancer and that he noticed me working hard every day I take his class. I felt so much better than I would have if it weren’t for this practicum. I don’t think I would’ve confronted him after the class and talked about the reason to why he kicked me out, and I wouldn’t have heard the nice things he told me. I appreciate Mr. Casteel for teaching me not only ballet, but the discipline behind the technique.

What new insights do you have about the belief or value you’ve practiced?
My dad picks me up late from dance sometimes, but he’s nice enough to give me a ride home almost every night. Sometimes my sister gets in these angry fits, but she’s comfortable showing her emotions around me. This practicum taught me that I can almost always find something positive in the things that trouble me. “I believe we should all find happiness” is a quote from my original credo; this is exactly a goal I’m trying to accomplish by finding the positive side of things.
Is the level at which you’re practicing sustainable in your life? Why or why not?
This practicum turned out to be a lot harder than I thought, but if I continue I believe it will become more natural to me. I felt really good about myself this whole week. I sometimes caught myself forgetting to resolve my frustrations, but with more practice it will become second nature to me.

What was your biggest take away that will influence your final credo?
I learned that when you really let yourself get annoyed, you can forget how lucky you are to have these wonderful people in your life. I will find true happiness loving people for who they are and everything about them; including their imperfections.

What are your core values? What do you believe?
I believe finding happiness is learning how to love people for their whole selves, and not the part of them that doesn’t annoy you. I believe if you focus on the positive side of things your relationships with people will improve. My core values that relate to this practicum are love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Interview #1

I interviewed my mom, Becky. She’s a nurse at the highline school district and one of my best friends.
What are the interviewee’s core values? What does she believe?
Becky’s core values are respect, not harming others, helping people and doing your best. One of the reasons she became a nurse was to feel compassion for the next generation. Becky’s beliefs have changed after having a disabled daughter. “I use to look at families with a disabled child and think it was a tragedy and then I had Addie. She is such a gift”. When I interviewed her I noticed a lot of what she talked about was people who are considered “different” in our culture. She even talked about herself feeling that she was different. She struggled with reading and comprehension in high school, and couldn’t get through her first year of college. “People thought I didn’t try, but you know you just try so hard and you don’t get it. You just have to give up after awhile” she told me. Although she had a difficult time academically she really pushed herself, and she believes that is one of the most important things a person should do.

What is a story and/or metaphor that the interviewee used to illustrate her values and beliefs?
I asked her how she felt when she helped the kids she takes care of. “A lot of what I do isn’t helping kids put on band aids. I help kids and their families find health care. It’s rewarding but sometimes frustrating because a lot of families are just in survival mode. A lot of them are poor and are just trying to feed their families and them selves. Taking their kids to the doctor is not a priority for them.”
This was her example:
Last year a little boy she took care of, only six, weighs 150 lbs. It was his first year in kindergarten and his mother was on kidney dialysis three days a week. She also has brain damage “probably drug abuse” she told me. So Becky was working with the kids grandmother who was in drug rehab. They all live with her, including his Grandfather who just got out of prison. This six year old boy has tooth decay, vision impairment, and is morbidly obese. “I’ve been trying to help his grandmother get him to see a doctor. She’s taken her daughter to kidney dialysis who seems to have mental health issues herself. This little boy is not getting the care he needs. His grandmother lied about taking him to doctor and dentist multiple times. I’ve had to call doctors and dentists to find out if he’s gone; I found out that all six dental appointments were canceled”. He saw a few doctors but he needed to see more. He had three siblings that were taken away from his mother because of neglect or abuse, and he didn’t want to be taken away from his family like his brothers and sisters were. Different family members would come with him to class, that’s the only way he would come to school. He’s in kindergarten again this year because he missed so much school, but he’s doing really well according to my mom. “He gets along with the other kids, and doesn’t need his family there anymore”.
This story showed me how much my mom wants to help. Her core values are respect, not harming others, helping people and do your best. I hear all four of these values in her story.

What are the “hard questions” about the interviewee’s values and beliefs? How would she respond to those questions?
Why do we label people as “normal” and “different”? I have also struggled with academics, and for some reason it’s really hard for me to tell people. It’s because the word "different" is so scary in our culture; no one wants to have that label. Becky says “In public school they try to fit everyone into one particular mold and not all of us fit that mold. I sit in these MDT and SAT meetings. We talk about the kids and how they scored on these tests and if they qualify for special education services. It really disturbs me”. She talked about feeling like she could have benefited from special ed, but would have never gone because of this fear people have of being different. People who are different are usually teased or made fun of. The people who tease them are scared of not being considered normal, and by making fun of these people who are different they feel safe.

How has your perspective on your own beliefs and values changed as a result of the interview? What was your biggest takeaway that will influence your final credo?
If you considered every human being as normal, how would you feel about yourself as a person? I’ve been thinking about this ever since the interview with my mom. I’ve decided either there’s no such thing as normal, or every human is normal. My sister Addie, she obviously has a disability, but she’s normal. She’s human; she can feel like the rest of use. People that struggle with reading or math, may be a master when it comes to painting or singing. So, no matter who you are, overweight, disabled or homeless, your normal. If we all begin to think that way, I believe we will become more comfortable with our differences, and learn how to accept others. We would stop feeling pressur to fit into that one mold my mom was talking about, and become more content.